he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
