I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
