let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
