my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
