I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
