Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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