after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
