I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
