i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
