You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
