DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I party with great urgency now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
