guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
