Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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