Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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