Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
