She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
