is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
how drunk are you?
Several
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
