i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
