i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
