Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
