whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I won the penis lottery.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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