There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
