I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
