Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
These tits shall not be calmed
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
