carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
