I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The struggles of a small town man whore
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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