there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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