No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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