we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
