Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I enjoy the company of your penis
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
