I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My dick has a subreddit
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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