If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
