JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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