Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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