Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
