i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
