well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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