I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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