lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have fence marks all over my body
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
