ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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