I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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