i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
