My hand turned me down
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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