i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
