My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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