I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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