I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
