If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
