I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My penis needs a shock collar
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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