I wish i was in the wii world.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
