ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
