I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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