I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
