This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
