yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
